Hi guys.. uh well, you see, I'm not dead.
I just wanted to actually to explain to you all about what's going on in my life right now, it's extremely personal and very serious. If you'd like to read this, please promise me you can be respectful and mature about it! If not, then don't comment, or read or whatnot.. Thank you! ~<3
So. I posted a journal on April 6th saying that I've been pretty inactive, right? Well about a week, two weeks or so afterwards, my mother again became seriously sick and was sent to the hospital. I was very worried about her, but I knew she'd pull through once again, and come back home in about a day or two. That wasn't the case.
I was informed about her statuses of when she arrived at the hospital, and how she was progressing. At her arrival, her breathing levels were extremely low and she was dehydrated as well. Once they got her into the room and all settled in, she was doing poorly, so they decided to run all these tests on her as soon as she got inside. They ran a toxicology test to see if she had any medication in her system. The doctors immediately assumed she overdosed with narcotics, because they saw the medications in her system.
Now.. for as long as I've lived under the care of my own mother, I know her all too well. I have never, ever seen her with, or nonetheless, seen her abuse narcotics. Her only problem is that she works too hard! For 15 years she's done nothing but give us the best of the best. A spoiled, yet loving childhood.. If she was a druggie, a drug addict, I highly doubt she'd be able to take care of her children, triplet children, two with severe disabilities.. more so Autism, all our lives.
Sooo.. my confusion begins here.
The caretaker that was there for both my brother and sister with disabilities knew my mom was on pain management. Pain management for her back, which she never abused or anything in the sort. She has several herniated discs in her back. When the paramedics arrived at our home, the caretaker thought it was okay to tell them that she was using drugs incorrectly, even though it was a complete lie and had nothing to do with why my mother was sick. This caretaker did not know shit from shiolah.
So with that being said, you can guess when an adult brings up drugs in a situation with children, you can figure what happened after that..
On April 28th, the hospital took her word for it and called the Children's Association to come out and investigate. Child Protective Services came out and took us away from our home.
Whaat!? But... I'm way too old to be taken away!..
You would not believe me when I told you, that the amount of stress, anxiety, fear, sadness, and just plain nausea I was going through. Knowing I was split up from my triplet siblings, not knowing if my mom was going to live or not, not knowing what's going to happen to them or me. Not knowing exactly what in the hell is happening, it happened too fast. I cried for that entire day, to the point where I couldn't anymore, not eating a bite for a whole 3 days afterwards. Scared for my life.
My mother could have been dead for all I knew. From what I last had heard, she was on a ventilator, and had a 25% of making it through. I didn't even know what was wrong with her in the first place! She was all I had left. I've already lost my father, I couldn't possibly lose her now..
I was having extreme.. extreme trust and abandonment issues. One person was telling me it was drugs, another one wasn't.. I didn't know who in the hell to believe, I was so in shock.
My mother overdosed on narcotics? For what? Not to get high, no, there was no way that was the answer. I know my mom better, she'd never risk anything like that in her life. She's such a wonderful mother, she'd give up everything and anything for us. We always come first in her eyes. So no.. no way that could have been it.
But I went off what I was told.
Until my mother was finally awake.
Thank God, I thought.. thank God she was alive. She'll fix all of this mess, she'll know what to do! She loves us way too much!
At the time, my brother and sister, due to their Autism, were sent to a group home in foster care. I was sent with that particular caretaker until I was finally moved with my aunt and uncle a few cities away. Why didn't I go with my siblings you ask? Why did we split? Why couldn't they come with me?.. I had the toughest decision of my life. Go with them to somewhere random, somewhere, hours away from home.. or leave them and live with my aunt and uncle's only 30 minutes away.
Well. I feel like I had made the wrong decision... but at the time.. I was so in a trance, I was just in total fear, and I was horrified with this situation. I had chose to go with my family.
From April until now, June 17th, I have still been placed here, with my cousins, aunt, and bratty uncle. A while back I found out that the hospital was wrong. She DID NOT overdosed, nor abuse medication. They made a big fucking mistake. To cover themselves up, they prohibited my mother to returning to the hospital to find out any information ever again, forever. So the doctors knew they fucked up, and they don't want to admit it. Plus, my brother and sister are being poorly taken care of.. and I don't even want to talk about it right now, it really disgusts me.
So anyway, I have a bit more to say, I just, I can't type anymore, and I've got a few things to do.. so.. any feedback would be great, I really really need it, and I need to know if I'm the only one who thinks this situation is wrong, because this whole thing is so wrong. This should have never happened..
Anyway, love you guys. Hope you're all hanging in there too! <3